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Welcome to TheFearMonsterSlayer

Hi and welcome to my blog. I’m Jeff Aronson, TheFearMonsterSlayer. In this and future blogs I’ll share some simple, effective and fun tools for managing fear and anxiety. So, welcome aboard!

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DISSECTING PANIC

9/30/2014

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"General quarters, general quarters. All hands man your battle stations."
                                                                                                                         --U.S. Navy Battle Command
Everything's going along fine. Life is great, you're relaxed, calm, and in total control. Suddenly and without warning your heart starts racing, breathing speeds up, your face feels hot and flushed, you feel disconnected from your body and physical reality, the words coming out of your mouth sound like gibberish and beyond your control and the only rational thought you have is to get the hell out of there. 

And then you think, "Oh yeah, that's right, I'm just having a panic attack and my body is experiencing all these really weird and interesting sensations. Wow, this is really amazing and fascinating. I'm just going to sit back and watch what happens." YEAH, RIGHT!

Anyone who's ever had a panic attack will agree it's one of the most terrifying experiences imaginable. Approximately 3% of the adult population have experienced panic attacks and it's one of the most common reasons people go to the emergency room as they think they're having a stroke or heart attack. At one time I did psychiatric evaluations in emergency rooms and this was a very common occurrence. Once the docs determined the patient wasn't having a heart attack I would explain to them what panic attacks are and encourage them to get therapy. 

So briefly, here are some of the most common symptoms of panic attacks: Increase in heart rate--increase in respiratory rate or hyperventilation--muscle tension--feeling faint--feeling hot and flushed--numbness or tingling in the limbs--feeling disconnected from physical reality or surroundings (derealization) or from self (depersonalization) and, maybe the most terrifying, feeling like we're going crazy or losing our mind.

There are other symptoms but these are some of the most common. And every single one of them has a physical cause. Looked at from a physiological perspective, they're understandable and fascinating. But of course, when we're in the middle of an attack that's the last thing on our mind and usually all we can think of is escape right now! I'll talk more about their physiology a little later but right now let's dispel a few fears about panic attacks.


     *You won't die during a panic attack or have a cardiac arrest (even though it may feel that 
      way) No one ever died from a panic attack.
     *You won't stop breathing or suffocate.

     * You won't faint or pass out.
     * You won't lose your balance or fall over.
     *You won't lose control of yourself.
     *And most importantly, YOU CAN'T GO CRAZY DURING A PANIC ATTACK!

Simply put, a panic attack is the body going into defense mode, preparing to defend itself or flee from threat. The old "fight or flight" mechanism. They may occur in a stressful situation or just out of the blue for no apparent reason at all and there's no saber toothed tiger outside the cave.

As nasty as they are, we can learn to manage and get through them until they decrease in frequency and intensity. In a future post I'll talk more about how and why the body does this. I think you'll find it both interesting and helpful. See you then.  

Next Time:
THE PHYSIOLOGY OF PANIC



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PANIC ATTACKS

9/21/2014

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"When in danger, when in doubt,
Run in circles, scream and shout."

                                                    --Marine Corps Officer Basic School Ditty



Los Angeles, 1980. The art director, who worked for one of the largest ad agencies in the world, was, along with the agency creative team, supervising a casting session for a television commercial they were preparing to shoot. Shooting TV commercials was the part of his job he liked the most. Travel, being away from the agency, staying in classy hotels, eating in great restaurants on an unlimited expense account, Southern California in December away from cold and rainy Seattle. If asked, he would have said there was nothing (well, almost nothing) he'd rather be doing at that moment.

Suddenly and without warning, he felt light-headed, his face was hot and flushed,his heart began to race, his breathing speeded up, and, most terrifying, he felt like his surroundings were unreal (derealization) and he was disconnected from his body (depersonalization), like he was standing outside of it. The words coming out of his mouth seemed to be gibberish and beyond his control. It was like being on a bad LSD trip and he was sure everyone in the room was looking at him wondering what's going on with this gibbering idiot. The one rational thought he did have was "I'm freaking out and have got to get out of here!"

Somehow he excused himself to go to the bathroom--at least that's what he thought he was saying--and locked himself in a bathroom stall. In the bathroom he splashed water on his face and tried to pull himself together, wondering "What the hell is happening to me?" Gradually the sensations lessened slightly and he was able to return to the casting session while still feeling disconnected from physical reality, just in time to go to lunch at another upscale LA eatery.

Sitting at a table with seven or eight other people, trying to hold it together and make intelligent conversation discussing the commercial production was agony when all he wanted to do was lock himself in his hotel room and crawl under the covers. But there was still the afternoon casting session to be endured followed by cocktails and another expense account dinner.

Somehow he got through it and the sensations were mostly gone when he got up the next morning. But then the fear set in. What happened to me and what if it happens again? He could feel the terror hovering just out on his periphery, waiting to attack again. So his mental and physical effort was focused on keeping them at bay (which paradoxically, was more likely to bring them back rather than fend them off).

The attack didn't come back during the rest of the trip although it only seemed a temporary lull until the next assault. This state of high alert went on for several days while the sensations gradually dissipated and it was with huge relief when he and his team flew back home and life returned to more or less normal. But still looming ahead was the next trip to LA for the actual filming and editing of the commercial and the fear of another attack.

Because he was an ad guy and not a psychologist, he had no clue of what had brought on such terrifying and unsettling physical and mental sensations. He tried to figure out possible correlations between the attacks and other factors such as location, situation, time of day, food and the other people around him. He never did figure it out and, although he really didn't believe it, the thought occurred to him that he might be losing his mind.

It wasn't until years later and a career change that he learned he had been experiencing panic attacks. Fortunately, over a relatively short period of time, the attacks went away on their own, occasionally popping up briefly but not troublesome enough to be a concern.

And the art director, what happened to him? Well, he went on to change careers and become a therapist. And if you haven't already figured it out, the art director was me.

Next Time: DISSECTING PANIC

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DEFEATING THEFEARMONSTER

9/3/2014

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"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway."--John Wayne

Remember Chinese finger traps, those woven straw tubes that tighten when you try to pull your fingers out? The more you pull, the tighter they get. The only way to get out is to push your fingers deeper into the trap which relaxes its grip. It's paradoxical, but demonstrates a good point: fighting a problem or trying to escape from it can actually make it worse.

The same idea works with anxiety and other distressing thoughts or feelings. Instead of changing or disputing negative thoughts, we can change our relationship with them, watching them from a distance as a neutral observer. We can recognize that thoughts are are just mental events to be noticed and not a true or false reality. The same for feelings, something to be felt and experienced, not dangerous bullies to be avoided or paid off (Remember paying the bully in my post "FACING DOWN THEFEARMONSTER").


When I was a kid I was terrified of going to the dentist. Our family dentist was this crotchety old fart that I still refer to as The Nazi Dentist (I was well into adulthood before I could go to the dentist without terror). Impatient and totally lacking in empathy and compassion, he would try to do fillings with a minimum amount of novocaine or none at all. Somehow, I developed this mental ability to step outside the pain and observe it as pain but not related to me. It was how I got through that awful experience.


I had a similar experience in college when I broke my wrist doing gymnastics. My arm was numbed with morphine while it was being set. I was aware of the pain but removed from it. The same idea applies to our thoughts and feelings. We can stand outside of them while experiencing and observing them, objectively and non-judgementally.


My colleague, Bill O'Hanlon, tells an interesting story about a client who came to see him with a serious weight problem. He'd tried many diets unsuccessfully, losing and then putting the weight back on again, eating after a full meal when he knew there was no reason to be hungry again. So he decided to examine the relationship with food and his feelings, what was going on with him emotionally when he felt the urge to eat. He realized he was feeling anxiety, a feeling of impending doom, and that eating soothed his fear and anxiety. In other words, he was paying the bully.


So he decided to confront the fear head on and refused to eat when the anxiety came. He sat down without eating, shaking, sweating, feeling smothered by fear, panic, terror and doom. After four hours the fear passed and he was OK. The next time he did this the fear passed in two hours and again he was OK.


Then he spent the weekend practicing being with his fear rather than trying to resist, escape or fix it. And as its power decreased, he realized it was only his mind telling him to eat when he wasn't hungry. After that, when the urge to eat came back he was able to quickly brush it aside and realized it was only THEFEARMONSTER testing him.


Fear dominates and restricts life. By facing fear and going into it rather than avoiding it, we win small victories and incrementally regain territory that fear has stolen from us.


Next Time: PANIC ATTACKS!
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    Jeff Aronson

    Hi and welcome to my blog. I’m Jeff Aronson, TheFearMonsterSlayer. In this and future blogs I’ll share some simple, effective and fun tools for managing fear and anxiety. So, welcome aboard!

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