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FEARMONGERING 1

6/23/2014

Monger: One who attempts to promote or distribute something unpleasant, petty, or undesireable.--Webster's Collegiate Dictionary

News Flash: Crime rates, including violent crimes such as rape, homicide, robbery and aggravated assault, have dropped steadily since the mid 90's. According to The Huffington Post, from 1993-2012, crime rates dropped nationally by 48% and by 71% in New York City. That's right, 71% in NYC, believed to be one of the most dangerous cities in the world. And yet, polls show that the majority of Americans overestimate crime rates and believe them to be rising even as crime levels are actually dropping.

Studies by experts, including the FBI, have yet to come up with an explanation for this continuing drop in crime rates. Yet to watch the news or follow the various media, one would naturally conclude that the world has become increasingly dangerous and that we need to be very fearful and cautious. I'm continually amazed when parents tell me they would never hire a baby-sitter for an evening or let their kids play outside after school. It used to be as kids we went outside after school and didn't come in until it got dark or mom called us in for dinner.

So what's behind this spreading of fear? Could it be You-Know-Who, TheFearMonster? Think of it as a corporation, TheFearMonster, Inc. with an organizational chart. There's R&D, Research & Development, where ways to terrify the public are generated. And then there's Marketing and its sales force comprised of Fearmongers whose responsibility it is to spread fear. Unlike Santa Claus, TheFearMonster can't be everywhere and has to rely on its Fearmongers to market and distribute fear.

So who are these Fearmongers and how do they do it? Let's take a look. Besides politicians (that's too obvious), how about the media? TV, newspapers, the internet, blogs, etc. It's a no-brainer that the majority of the news is alarming, disturbing, negative and often terrifying with an occasional feel-good story thrown in in the last two minutes. There's an old news axiom that "If it bleeds, it leads." Even the weather report is terrifying with killer tornadoes and deadly storms predicted. Oh yeah, don't forget the commercials: "Your heart attack will happen tomorrow." And if the disease doesn't get you, the possible medication side-effects will.

OK. How can we be smart consumers and resist this sales pitch? Here are a few ideas. Gavin deBecker is an internationally recognized security consultant who provides protective security to high-profile public figures, government officials, celebrities and consults with police and intelligence agencies and large corporations. Go to his website, GavindeBecker.com and pull up his piece on Media Fear Tactics in which he teaches how to break the code of "alarming newspeak" so the truer and less frightening facts emerge.

Here are a couple of media catch phrases designed to alarm viewers: "Possible..." In other words, it's not happening right now and probably not likely to. "Taking seriously..." Taking something seriously just means doing what's normal and reasonable. "Deadly..." Something can be deadly but doesn't mean it poses a threat to most of us. Here are a few more "alarming newspeak" phrases to watch for: "Experts fear...", "Shocking new details", "As many as...", and my favorite, "Just a matter of time before..." .

His book, The Gift of Fear is a classic and a must-read on assessing and putting fear into perspective and steps individuals can do to keep themselves safe from real threats (By the way, TheFearMonster has tried unsuccessfully to have this book banned). I also recommend watching his talk on fear before a group at St. Francis College. Google Gavin deBecker YouTube. It's highly informative and helpful. Learning to decipher what's really being said by the media can be enormously helpful in reducing fear. And it can make watching the news,especially local news, a highly entertaining game.

Lastly, Andrew Weil, MD, founder of the Integrated Medicine Program at University of Arizona, recommends taking a news fast one or two days a week. Don't read the paper or watch the news or go on the internet. We won't become ignorant of world events, the media is simply too pervasive. But the benefits we experience in more calm, less stress, anxiety, and overall peace of mind are well worth it.

Next Time: FEARMONGERING 2

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THREAT ASSESSMENT

6/15/2014

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What it feels like.

What it actually is.

"Fear sharpens the senses. Anxiety paralyzes them."--Kurt Goldstein, quoted by Scott Stossel, "My Age of Anxiety"

As I've mentioned previously, what we focus on expands. And this is true of any feeling or emotion but especially fear and worry or anxiety.

Even though I'm pretty computer-challenged, I like to think of our brains as having two operating systems: 1) The emotional, and 2) The rational, objective, critical-thinking system. These systems actually operate out of different parts of the brain: The amygdala, which drives emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, sadness. And the pre-frontal cortex, which controls executive functions like driving a car or balancing our checkbook (mine always seems to crash at this point).

If we're feeling anxious and we stay in that emotional state, our anxiety is going to remain high. While one foot is in the emotional, we want to have the other in the rational objective system. It's just not realistic to think we can turn off anxiety by simply telling ourselves to stop worrying. But we need to bring the anxiety down to a reasonable level so we're controlling it, not it controlling us. So here's a technique my clients--and myself as well--find helpful.

1. Imagine two vertical lines. Label one as "Anxiety" and the other as "Threat." Number each from 1-10 with 1 at the bottom, 10 at the top. Under "Anxiety" 1=totally calm, approaching Nirvana, 10=I'm jumping out of my skin, peeling myself off the ceiling. Under "Threat" 1=no danger, totally safe, 10=the world is coming to an end.

2. Rate your anxiety level on the 1-10 scale. So let's say you're at a 9. Now let's move to the threat scale for a minute. Is there actually something going on right now that's causing your anxiety to be at a 9? Is there a saber tooth tiger right outside the cave? If the answer is "no," then we repeat this mantra: "Nothing bad is happening right now." Do some deep breathing, focusing on some other activity. And note the anxiety level coming down.

3. But if there is an actual threat, we rate it. Say I just got a letter from the IRS wanting to have a little chat about my last year's tax returns. My anxiety is at a 10 going off the chart and I rate the threat at a 9 (Interestingly, when we identify an actual threat our anxiety usually drops a little now that we know what we're dealing with).

4. So, let's analyze the actual threat.OK, I'm scrupulously honest and keep receipts for everything I've ever purchased since 1985. So now the threat has dropped to a 7 and the anxiety is down to an 8.

5. What else about the threat? Well, I've got a great tax guy, Bob, who's done my taxes for years, knows tax law in and out and used to work for the IRS. So now the threat is down to 5 and the anxiety at 6. (Notice the two scales usually don't drop in perfect sync with each other. That's OK; we just want to bring them down).

6. Anything else on the threat? Oh yeah, Bob will go with me to the audit and do most of the talking and assures me that the worst thing that might happen is I may end up owing a little bit and I won't go to prison for tax evasion. The threat now? Down to a 3. And the anxiety? Maybe a 5 or even 4. There's still some anxiety but at least it's gone way down. We're not going to eliminate it, we just want to get it down to a manageable level.

Remember, fear is the presence of a real threat, anxiety is imagined and in the future. This is a good tool for managing anxiety by objectively assessing the threat and problem-solving. This may seem a little cumbersome but with some practice we can get really adept and fast at it. And it puts us in control, not the anxiety

Coming Up: FEARMONGERING

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THE ROOM OF 1000 DEMONS

6/8/2014

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"Feets, do your stuff."--Mantan Moreland

A long time ago high up in the mountains of Tibet there was a Buddhist monastery that once every 100 years had a ceremony of enlightenment. Since it only happened once every 100 years it was a pretty big deal and seekers would come from all over to become enlightened.

So the monks would come down from the monastery to address the pilgrims and explain what they had to do to gain enlightenment. The head monk would explain:

"Now you've come here to become enlightened and since this only happens every one hundred years it's good that you're here now. Up there in the monastery is a room called The Room of a Thousand Demons. The room has a door you go in that locks behind you and on the other side of the room is a door you go out.

"In this room are a thousand demons that have the power to immediately know your deepest fears when you enter and then create the illusion that it's actually happening in the room. So if you have a fear of spiders they'll create the illusion that the room is full of big hairy spiders swarming all over you. Or if you have a fear of heights, they'll create the illusion that you're falling off a high precipice.

"It's all an illusion but some people become so paralyzed by their fear that they can't get out of the room and perish there. So you need to know this now and if you're not ready to face your fear and become enlightened, that's OK. But you'll have to wait until you reincarnate and come back in another one hundred years.

But if you decide to face your fears and become enlightened, there's two things you need to know when you enter the room and the door locks behind you and the demons begin to do their thing. Number one: It's not real; it's all an illusion that's in your head. And, number two: If you keep moving, you'll get to the other side and out the door."

So, we overcome our fear by facing it. If we avoid it, we feed it and make it stronger. It's not easy but if we keep moving forward we'll get there.

Next Up: THREAT ASSESSMENT

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Welcome to TheFearMonsterSlayer

FEARMONGERING 1

THREAT ASSESSMENT

THE ROOM OF 1000 DEMONS

Jeff Aronson

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